aware healer - crystal reiki

So I feel really good about her now, I remember this feeling of really waiting for her to come our apartment where I was with our children... this pure feeling of joy when somebody enters through the door and you inward become so happy thinking it is her.  The children are most wonderful, what made it a little bit difficult, is the energy of my own mother. Yes, it is painful, that emotion. Sure it is possible to overcome it somehow by training... Yet it would be most helpful to actually feel it. I'm playing this guessing game now... always wanting to be in control of your feelings? Having to be this "grown-up" posture all the time? To teach others without inward actually not knowing? This desire to share maybe instead... I mean instead of this "teaching others while feeling actually insecure" maybe just the "desire to share"? Maybe we just sit down in a circle of friends and you can share everything without judging it... Admitting that we actually don...

So I have now arranged them, they really are a source of inspiration, an inspiration to write, to explore, to communicate to different realms, to explore intuition, trust and healing. I have a few extra that don't have a place yet. It is alright, it took me a while to find places for the first ones also. Limiting belief systems is an obstacle, sometimes we just aren't ready to explore any further, we are capable to go as far as we are... yet even this set of crystals expands my horizons quite a bit, creating this tiny small cozy atmosphere, helping and healing the painful areas around me. During their first days with me, they took in so much pain from my parents and ancestors, I had to leave them alone for a while, not even wanting to touch that pain. Now that waiting period is over and together with these crystals we have been able to get through to the next point. I am happy to be connected to humans and human fields, it is exciting and fun for me, I even remember fun days ...

 So i get the new crystals and they look really amazing, they react when I think of them and some of them carry really "otherwordly" energies. I get this message many times that this "otherworldly" is real, that they do stuff in other realms and they are strong or good in that. They do react to my thoughts and some of them already have this strong healing frequency, they already take in patterns from around me, and yes, you can give them even intentions from enlightened perspective! Some of them are really sacred... I love how it goes... they like fulfill my crystal dreams or wishes of crystals... in a new way. So it's really like a crystal "house" we create, and the healing aspect of them is very interesting for me. I remember once I ordered like tens and hundreds of small cheap different crystals and learned about them by touching them, but then I had like full chaos of them all on my table, so I couldn't understand all of them at once. Meanwhile...