aware healer - crystal reiki

 so i get this balance by really slow walk, I'm so thankful... somehow I managed to drop to the, what they maybe call the "spiritual heart".. so you feeling body and feelings are small again, they belong just to yourself your energy field, thank God, you sense and almost even see your feeling body flowing around you... i walk on and others would criticize but there is nobody. i know they hate my field or would say something bad about it... i just don't know... it's like they prefer other frequency or something... i like how smoothly and small this feeling body flows... without others disturbing, they most certainly would do that... so I am happy and balanced and walk really slowly in the forest alone a lot... it is a bit too cold for me to sit and meditate yet... so this walking slowly is really good for the energy. thanks

 it's a good thing to feel finally the stuff that was present but we were not there... of course I would love India again so much... it looks like we can somehow be more brave and connect ... so accidentally we get this slow union.. like picking stuff from each other's frequency.. well sometimes there's too much. i love India mantras its like here people tell you truth is this and that... it is not good to be there.. it easy to be out of that frequency.. i love India so much hard to guess what people are doing over here :) it is a guessing game... when I get the right answer somehow, they become very happy... but for me sometimes takes even days to guess... its like a puzzle your father has and gives... if you guess part of it you are correct... so hard to understand. so much tension. maybe it will teach me something new

 As the situation is improving between me and my mother, I can easily wonder on the following subject: why I don't want her tea at all. I always want to reject her offer to drink her tea. The first answer that immediately came up as I was asking this from myself, was: I actually DO want something from her. So I think it is good to focus on that. What do I want from her? So I don't want her tea, right. So let's leave that beside. (my English high-school, sry) Another impression I always get, is that SHE wants something from me. Probably attention? She's always happy when she gets the attention... maybe we are taught that it is wrong to want that... but she does want attention I think. I can give attention... so what do I want? I don't know... but I feel I do want something from our relationship. So now that I'm 29 and she's almost 60, what do I need? I am actually happy to accept money from that source, that's a good idea, but that's something she alm...

 So I get this huge wave of sadness, as if somebody has been crying for hours. I know that feeling, it is very familiar to me. I used to cry a lot as a child. It comes together with this feeling of soul love, and it also feels like I am almost out of power, so tired, exhausted emotionally of this crying. It is common for empath beings to go into areas that have lot of tension and then they feel it and just start to cry there, without knowing why, but they know that this crying will solve the tension and offer human closeness to the family in a very good way. They do feel what people have felt their, sometimes even years before... So now, with this feeling of "exhausted from crying", I wish to understand it more. So I write. And sentences guide me to more discoveries... in the area... but, no, that's not the correct word, "discovery"... it is more like a sensing of this being who belongs next to me. Reunion... So mentally people are maybe sometimes kind of progra...

 So I live in my grandfather's house now. I love everything here - the dusty bottle of dishwashing liquid, dirty curtains, big fur trees howling in the wind when I look outside of the window. Coffee drinking in the evening. Dreaming. I love my new edition of Bhagavad-Gita, I started to read it aloud from the beginning and now I'm still at the beginning of Chapter 2... it really helps a lot.  It's amazing how the relationships and the frequencies of others are a bit magical. Or can be made magical. Can be thought more beautiful. When you meditate and open your eyes and see a human person walking outside, it's just wonderful how they have their pace... light shining on their face, maybe them not even noticing that... So I wanted to make a blog in my mother's house - they have a separate house - about her health, but she said telepathically that she's not ready yet. That it is too fast. Please slow down. They are all the time in a hurry... so yes, I agree, it is go...

 So I had this wonderful trip to nature this morning. I grab a few crystals, some of them were already in the pocket of my jacket, and I go to the forest, to the sunshine. I lay down my jacket in the sunlight and sit on it, the ground was still a little bit wet and cold, even with the snow in colder and more shadowy places. So I sit into the sunlight on my jacket and do this meditation with the crystals... completely out of the influence of thoughts of other humans. Just crystals and Mother Nature and sunlight with me. Birds were starting to make noises behind me on the top of the tree, looks like one of them discovered me after I was there already for few minutes. It was a beautiful woodpecker and it flew above my head over the open area to the next tree, tens of meters away from me. It was the same one that made noises behind me. I was thinking, that's just awesome! You know how woodpeckers fly... in a powerful way, yet they kind of have to push themselves ahead in a fast way... ...